Cry

I cried several times today as I battled my voices and absence of self-worth. I cried in places where I wasn't noticed, repeatedly telling myself I was a mistake and should be dead. The voice that says "I hate me. I hate me. I hate me. I hate me." over and over continues again to pound my right shoulder like a jackhammer. The pain of my mental illness is all-encompassing: aches in my legs and arms, headache, nausea, back, shoulder and neck pain. My doctor (I saw him yesterday) increased one of my anti-depressants - doubled it, actually. Every adjustment seems to bring me closer to the edge of untreatability.